The other day I was doing some party planning for my girls upcoming birthdays, and realised my twenty-seventh birthday is next week! So much has happened since I met Thomas; we have lived in two different homes, have had two kids, got married and have already made so many fun memories. Then I had a flashback to my twenty-second birthday. Singing “I’m feeling twenty-two” while doing not my best dance moves in front of my now Husband. Which he still makes fun of me for every birthday! I am sure I will hear about it next week.
Then I realised everything I had planned at twenty-two has not come to fruition. Really, I have taken a completely different path than what I had laid out in my mind. Now I love my girls, and I love being a Mom very much. But my path to becoming a Mom has had many rough turns and roadblocks. And since being a Mom I have had some rough days. Sometimes I find myself wishing I could go back to those hard and doubtful times, so I could tell my self all my great qualities.
After reflecting on my past five years, I decided to do a self love exercise by writing a letter to my younger self. Highlighting all the things I could have said to myself during times when I was not positive about who I was as a person, a Wife and a Mom.
You’re probably sitting in that dingy basement apartment with no lighting you and Thomas rented. Don’t worry, you only live there for a year and a half. Yeah longer than you anticipated. I may have rolled my eyes while typing that. If Thomas is beside you, look at him. He is your future Husband. I know you might be thinking really? Yes! In about a year you both will learn quite a few things about yourselves, and your relationship will grow into the love you always dreamed of, and more actually. And don’t be jealous, he loves you more than you dreamed a man would. I will give you a heads up that he still doesn’t pick up after himself, you both wont be able to decide what movie to watch but he will work very hard for you and your future. Continue the dance parties!
Now think of your future. What do you see? Traveling, establishing your career and a family in your thirties. Don’t think you are going to be in your thirties when you have children. In two years you are going to deliver your first child, a beautiful baby girl. That’s right, prepare yourself to be a Mom very soon.
The reason I am writing to you is to say you are amazing. The first six months of being a Mom are going to be hard, and not what you expected from Motherhood. Don’t feel alone, reach out to people. You will get sleep sooner than you think, your body will go back to normal and you will feel like a human being in a little bit, instead of a milk vending machine. Know that the days may feel long, but the time will go by fast. To three years later, with your oldest turning three and you have a second baby girl who is ten months old. Love every second of your time, cherish every moment before it becomes a memory.
You were most likely thinking earlier how hard school was. Prepare yourself for Mom life. It is the hardest thing you will ever accomplish. But I will to tell you again, you are amazing, strong (you delivered both girls naturally! And both labours are quick), determined and really are a super woman. You will not have traveled to Europe yet, but you will go many places in the next five years. Your career won’t be as established as you would have liked it to been, and in five years your job title will be “stay at home Mom”. Not joking. But you will love and embrace every part of being home. Just know that you are loved, and cherished dearly.
Jaclyn, you are going to have hard days, filled with yelling and tears. You are going to be exhausted and you will have doubts sometimes about where your life is. Just know that this is Motherhood. Don’t ever second guess yourself or your decisions. You are an amazing Mother. Don’t let those doubts steer you away from who you are. You need to tell yourself everyday how awesome you are.
You will love your future, and you have many exciting adventures to look forward too. And yes, you will have a dog!
Twenty-six year old Jaclyn.
I loved this exercise because it really helped me reflect my favourite qualities about myself. It’s a great way to set some goals for yourself this year. If you find you aren’t happy with what you wrote. Your qualities or anything negative that you wrote. Make this year the time to focus on changing those into positives. Accept what is negative, place it in the past and know that you can change them. I highly recommend this activity to every person.
Thanks for reading,