It’s four o’clock. The kids are running around wild after school, food is on the floor. The dogs are playing around because they sense the kids energy. The baby is crying for attention while I tried to start supper. My daughters kept playing with the Google, and no one was listening to me. Finally, I yelled. I got angry and lost my cool. Instantly I felt the Mom guilt. That strong emotion that takes over your whole body.
Mom guilt can be caused by so many different events. Whether it’s yelling at your kids, maybe not listening to them, or forgetting to put them in a orange shirt for Reconciliation Day. Not packing an “awesome lunch like so and so Mom….”. Not baking treats for their school bake sale.
Pretty much anything that makes you feel like you’re a “bad mom” and are doing a horrible job at parenting. And it sits on your shoulders like a really heavy weight.
Well I’m here to tell you that if you’re feeling this way, it’s because…
YOU ARE AN AWESOME, KICK BUTT MOM!
Mom guilt shows that you care. And that you think of your children and their happiness. EMBRACE IT!
- I am a great Mom because I love my children
- I love myself
- I am strong
- There are a million ways to be a great Mom, I am doing what’s best for my family and myself.
And sure… you bought store made cupcakes instead of baking them yourself like Becky’s Mom. But you supplied a baked good! That’s what matters.
And I’ve learned that sure Becky’s Mom baked cupcakes. But Becky’s Mom probably forgot to do crazy hair day, and you did a killer up do for your child. We can compare all we want. But I have found myself in many situations when I looked at another Mom thinking “oh I wish…” while she was looking at me thinking the exact same thing! Instead of looking over on the other side of the fence to see if the grass is greener, look at yours. It’s probably already greener. It’s just how you view it.
Now… sometimes Mom guilt comes about from a bad situation. More than not baking homemade cupcakes. But from having moments of anger, yelling or not listening to your child. Life happens. Long, exhausting, everything ends up going wrong days…they can happen. I’ve been there many times.
- I am worthy of good things
- I forgive myself for my failures
- It’s not my job to be perfect, but to show my kids grace and forgiveness.
And embrace that mom guilt by understanding something needs to change. Maybe your schedule is too busy? Maybe you need more outdoor time to burn energy? Or you need to give yourself some more alone time to get a break? I’ve discovered the anger, frustration and yelling comes a place of disconnect. So we need to do what we can, or change what we can to have that positive connection again. But know you’re not alone. Every Mom has these moments, but you don’t have to live a life like that.
Motherhood is such a roller coaster, but it’s your roller coaster. Not Becky’s, and know that there is always going to be lows. But how low you stay, is your choice.